operation have a gay friend backfired
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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