You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
