I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
