Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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