btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
