HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
