That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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