New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
