i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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