drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I deserve this hangover.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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