it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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