The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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