So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
being pregnant is like rehab
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
