I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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