Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
