Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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