Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
