So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
