why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
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