I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
