Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
