Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
