Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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