sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
bring money and cleavage
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
