What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i think i have two assholes
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
