Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
