Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
