I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
