before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
