I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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