So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
