I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
