so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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