question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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