Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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