Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
