why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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