so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Someone shattered a urinal.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
