I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
