You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
