We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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