i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
