we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
