We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
