dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
