Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
