Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hippo gnu deer
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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