i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
