the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
