then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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