Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
